This Is Not A Goodbye

It's been a while, it's been a week.
A week since I stopped finding roses on my doorstep.
A week since the happy smile of mine which you said you'll love 'forever', disappeared.
A week since you said goodbye.
But darling, you said goodbye.
I had just whispered a tiny 'I'll see you soon'.
It's been a while, it's been a month.
A month since our last dinner together.
A month since the now not so familiar feeling of warmth spread to each little part of my entangled soul.
A month since I lay down next to your perfect being and ruffled your hair as you slept, peacefully.
A month since the fireworks sparked as bright and beautiful as they could when you held my hand, when you kissed my lips.
A month since you walked out the home which was once ours.
It is no longer a home, you know.
It's just a house.
It's been a while, it's been a year.
A year since I felt your presence around me.
A year since I breathed in the smell of your cologne.
A year since you wrapped your arms around me when I was cold.
A year since I smiled at the voice notes you sent me.
I still listen to them, if you're wondering.
But tears are the only reply I have when I hear you saying, 'you won't ever leave, will you?'
It's been a while, it's been ten years.
Ten years since I heard you whisper into my ear while I was half asleep.
Ten years since I baked you your favourite chocolate fudge cookies.
Ten years since we sat hand-in-hand, talking about our future.
Ten years since you I heard the lovely sound of your laughter.
Ten years since you said you never want to see my face again.
You'll finally get your wish, I suppose.
But this is not a goodbye.
I'll see you soon.